Final 2 Week

If I could go back to the very beginning of Idol and whisper something in my own ear I would probably say, “Be prepared for a long, hard emotional journey.” Not that you ever could be - if someone said that to me, I would have probably thought, “What the hell?” because you can never forsee the future. The other thing I would say is, “Just go with it, because you can’t really change anything. Try to be positive and when it gets tough, just think about the people who love you.”
 
I didn’t expect to feel as relaxed as I do this week, actually. I know that I have a lot of work to do and I will have a lot of work to do when this is over, but I kinda feel like I have a bit more freedom to be the artist I want to be. This is the time I want people to see who I really am… even though I always have been myself. But I have chosen two songs this week and I am just going to sing them like I am at a gig and if people like them, then I can know I can tour, release albums and hopefully inspire others. I am a very passionate person and I’m pretty headstrong when it comes to my musical style and what that means in terms of a career, and I feel like I want to give that back to an audience. I never had that before Idol because I didn’t have an audience!
 
My Mum will be the very first person I thank if I win! And the first thing I want to do the morning after the Grand Final is have breakfast with my family and friends.
 
If I only achieve one thing from my entire career, I hope to write a song with John Mayer. Who knows… maybe he’ll stumble across my blog one day!
 
I definitely know myself better through this whole journey. When I first started, I had so many doubts about who I was – I felt like to please people I would have to change myself and I was really shy in front of the cameras. I wasn’t myself – I put up a wall. At the start, the audience probably thought, “Who’s that girl?” I noticed that the production crew didn’t show too much footage of me, mainly because I didn’t say anything!
 
And then something happened mid competition… I think it was after the ‘Endless Love’ performance. The judges just hammered me and I thought, “What the hell am I DOING!? If I keep doing this, I’m toast!” I just broke out of my shell. I thought, “Bugger it, how bad can I be?” And it seemed that people liked who I was as a person… I started getting a different reaction and I got the confidence to just be myself. Ever since then, I have been able to focus on the performance and channel the song better. Don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t been easy – I’m opening myself up and letting the public see me for real. But I think I have grown up, become wiser and happier. I’ve loved every minute since then!
 
At the moment, I am feeling very drained but so appreciate of the position I am in and where I am at in the competition. I feel like the competition has kinda ended. The next step is the Opera House, which is more like a performance. I know there has to be a winner but in my heart, I feel like I have already won.
 
The people who have been a support to me are my Mum and Dad, brother and sister, grandparents, cousins and close friends. Apart from my family, the most important people who have driven me through this are the fans that vote. The people who bother to get out their phone, write my name, and every week, spend money they work hard for to put me in this final position. When I think about everything I have gone through, I realise I have shared my journey with the rest of Australia. I really hope the people who have bothered to support me will follow me through the next part of this journey – the real world. That’s where it really counts.
 
This isn’t the end… it’s just the beginning for me.

- Natalie

Final 3 Week

I think we all deserve to win for different reasons. We’re all different artists. Every one of us could sell albums and be successful. Carl has his swing style and has since the very beginning and Matt is so marketable – he is very talented. I’ve got an album pretty much ready to go as well, so I guess from this point on… we’ve all worked very hard at this, so I think we all deserve to win.
 
Over the past years, the winners of Idol – bar Guy Sebastian and Damien Leith – have been singers who have been fresh to the industry. I’ve been working on this before the show started so it’s nice to know that my hard work has gotten me this far.
 
When I first started out with my original stuff, I had a four-piece band and they’re still keen to tour with me when this is all over. Things will be real – it will be something everyone can relate to, rather than being big on production and the manufactured side of things. For me, it’s going to be all about the music. That’s where I started and that’s where I came from and that won’t change. If anything, things will get better because I have professional people around me now and I’m not on my own.
 
If I could trade places with anyone in the Top 12 it would be Mark Da Costa – because he is living in Melbourne at the moment and recording his EP with his band. He’s going out and having an amazing time at all the Melbourne clubs and… I’m jealous! [Laughs].
 
If I could accept an ARIA for anything, I would probably want it to be Best Female artist. That would be cool!
 
When I first started Australian Idol, my aim was to play the Prince of Wales in Melbourne. It still is that, but now I know that because I’ve become more confident as a performer, I could probably do something like the Hammer Hall in Melbourne and I would love to play at the Regent Theatre in Melbourne one day – that would be the ultimate achievement.
 
If I had a dream backstage request list, it would include champagne, red wine, water, and beer and Scotch for the boys. Gluten-free Doritos too – a nachos type thing. I love that kind of food so it would be nice to eat that… and some chocolate!
 
Being in the Final 3 has been a really fulfilling achievement for me. It’s something that I never, ever thought would happen. I remember talking to Sam [the house manager] when it was the Final 10 and I asked, “How is it when there are only 3 people left in the house? Do you get lonely?” and he said, “Yeah you get homesick.” I wondered how it would be… and now I am here and it’s exactly how he said it would be! I am so homesick right now. This is where the discipline counts. All your body wants to do is stop and have a holiday but you need to push through and have the discipline to keep going. I think about the fans and the people who vote for me – you don’t want to let them down. It gives you that extra incentive to perform well every week.
 
The hardest thing is that even when my family is here, I only get to spend two or three hours with them. I just want to get everything out and give them hugs and kisses! Without that time, I wouldn’t be able to keep doing what I am doing. I guess it is those people around me that gives me the strength to keep doing this. The crew around here is so awesome too… the last few days have been great. Sheridan [the stylist], the makeup artist and the photographer are so much fun to work with. Hopefully, I can take them with me when I leave Australian Idol! [Laughs].

- Natalie 

Final 4 Week

Going to the ARIAs really spun me out. For me to be amongst some of my favourite musicians was just insane! I mean, who would have thought I'd be there! I was speaking to Dicko about it and he said we have every right to be there, which I agree with. Before Idol, I was a striving muso just doing gigs with my original band, all independently - it's not like I just suddenly turned up on Idol and started singing and playing. Going to ARIAs was one of the best times of my life to date. The red carpet was fun too!

I have learnt so much from being on Idol and the ARIAs is another stepping stone in the journey. I learnt that being yourself is the most important thing. Everyone has different morals and ethics to get where they want to be and I'd like to think I'm fully respected for doing things the way I think is think is right.

I have also learnt to grow each step of the way. It is important to stay grounded, especially at this stage in the competition. I honestly think to myself, "Wow… Final Four - oh my God!!" Then I look back at my performances and say to myself, "Wow… I still have a lot to learn about connecting with my audience on a broader level.” It's really important to think beyond the competition. It's so easy to get caught up in the hype of it all.

It's getting pretty crazy, a lot of publicity and fans - so I am gonna stay true to who I am. Else I wouldn't be here in the first place.

Every week seems to be different and more jam-packed with work… so here’s what I am usually up to!
 
Tuesday - Love Tuesdays, because they give me an idea of what the following Sunday has in store for me musically! And [vocal coach] Erana and [movement coach] John are amazing people - they are so much fun also.
Wednesday to Friday - Always jammed with publicity meetings, photo shoots, interviews, music workshops, movement workshops… laughing at the guys being silly... and finding time to practice our songs for Sunday.
Sunday - Always fun. It's performance day, but we have so much to do before we get there.
Monday - Consists of an early start. This week, we have a photo shoot before the show. Then we have to rehearse all day, so I try not to celebrate too hard before Monday because it's such a long day - and I hate verdicts, they really are horrible! But if you get through, you get to do workshops on Tuesday for your new song.

One of the most exciting things this week was having a managers’ meeting and a SonyBMG meeting. We got a taste of what the winner will be doing and also what the non-winners will be doing… and it's all so exciting.
 
I'd just like to add that at this stage of show, we all need as much support as we can get. It's getting really tough. I'd like to thank everyone behind the scenes of Idol, because without them there wouldn't be us! And without fans there wouldn't be a show. So I guess everyone is really getting ready for the Grand Final and it's gonna be huge! I'm trying to get as much mental and emotional strength up as possible, to do the best job I possibly can. Thanks EVERYONE! And I miss Melbourne - mwa!! 

-Natalie

Final 5 Week

I think now we’ve developed friendships to a core – we have gotten to know each other for real. I guess it’s like you vibe off each other’s energies – certain people have positive energies and you give and take that energy. It’s reciprocated – and when that person leaves, the whole dynamic of the group changes. Depending on how close you get with the contestants, it’s almost like a part of you leaves. It takes you a week to recover and then someone goes again! Right now, I would die if Carl left and I was still here.

I think we’re getting closer because we need emotional support. We all know what we’re going through and we tend to be sympathetic and understanding of each other. At the same time, we’re working hard for ourselves and we are all feeling like we have to work hard and practice every week.

I think it’s been an intense journey, but it’s gone so quickly too. I can’t believe it’s the end of October. I look at the date about twice a week and go, “What the?! What have I been doing the last few months!” At the same time, I have learnt so much and it’s something you won’t ever do again in your life. I have learnt the most I have ever learnt.

For me, it’s more about doing well each week and trying to better my performance. And also trying to stay grounded, because it seems like most of the hype could make you relax a bit. Like, “I’ve got a Touchdown, I can relax.” I don’t let myself think like that. I think, “How can I get another Touchdown? How can I bring something more to the competition?” If people see the same thing every week, they get bored. I want to be better every week. I know I need to build up stamina and strength as a performer.

I have absolutely no idea how I will feel if I get to perform at the Opera house. I will just be ecstatic. It will make me feel like everything I’ve done has had a purpose, that everything I have worked so hard for has been achieved… and then I will work SO HARD from there! And after that, I will celebrate. I have an album ready to go, and I will just be looking forward to the next chapter, which I am anyway… regardless.

When I first auditioned and Dicko said to me, “I believe you can win this comp,” I freaked out. I had never thought that far ahead. I was ready to go back to my normal life after that audition and be a struggling muso… and I am still here! It kind of freaks me out but I am also excited to know I have made an impact on the Australian public in a musical way. The semis were the craziest – I didn’t expect to be there and my mind and body weren’t ready for it.  I was scared I wasn’t going to be good enough. And now I feel like I am ready to show myself and Australia what I can do.

I’d like to send a message out to all the girls, especially the teenagers… weight is always an issue when it comes to us and actually, it’s not just us, it’s guys as well. I don’t think there is a double standard anymore, it’s an issue for them too - we just need to be happy and healthy. Feeling beautiful comes from the inside, not what you look like on the outside. That builds a strong immunity for how we cope with judgement. If you can say, “I’m happy, I’m comfortable… get stuffed!” then that’s powerful. It’s not just about your looks, it’s about being yourself – people are attracted to other people because they connect, not because they look hot. And big butts are cool anyway!

- Natalie

Final 6 Week

There are definitely favourites with both the audience and the judges and that’s what makes this Australian Idol… if there were no favourites then there wouldn’t be a show! That’s why I think it’s so important to be yourself as much as possible, so when the journey ends for me a new one begins - where I get to tour and record albums for my fans!
 
I think I’m just travelling along OK at the moment, I’m enjoying it and making every moment count, but I think I still need to find my niche. I know what it is when it comes to originals and I’m slowly finding it in the show. I have a bit of an edge to my writing, so I need to find that within the parameters of the show, which I am totally looking forward to, if I get the opportunity.
 
I love all the judges when it comes to getting feedback, but I particularly love Marcia and Dicko’s comments on TV and off. Dicko has taught me so much about seeing myself as an artist and not just a singer and Marcia has helped me grow as a performer. She gives amazing tips for stage presence and helps me sing from the heart!
 
I’m mostly afraid of disappointing my friends and family. I want to stay true to myself and not let the competition and the hype get to my head, because I know it won’t last forever. I just want to be me! My family and friends made me who I am and the worst thing in the world would be for me to change into a Diva Superstar with no heart or emotion! As if! Hehe.
 
When I listen to music, sometimes I feel like dancing, sometimes I feel like crying and other times I feel like stopping the music and going to write my own song. I love a whole range of music. I love electro house, pop, blues, soul, jazz and funk… and anything else that has a good beat, great hooks and something that I can relate to. If it can touches your soul, then it’s doing the job music should do.

- Natalie
 

Final 7 Week

If I could sing any song on Idol… well, I really wanted to do "Man in the Mirror" and I've done it. The next thing I want to do is introduce a song to the audience that no one's ever heard of, and that's why I might not do it! It just depends on my fan base – if I could trust that, that would be the only way I could feel confident to do it. It's by a singer called Ayo and it's called "Life is Real". The lyrics are all about how I feel in life.

I would love to do a duet with Guy Sebastian because he's such a cool guy and he's one of the best singers I have ever heard!

The most dangerous thing about fame is that you can ride the high and get lost - lose yourself and make a lot of mistakes. There are people out there who are not genuine and nice and if you make mistakes and let the hype get to you, people are going to bring you down and it will get into the public and that's not a good thing. That's when you realise who your true friends are too – that can be kinda scary. You've gotta try and remember how you were before the fame and how you are after the fame, and if you're not the same, then obviously you've let it get to you somehow. Of course you're going to change, but you want to change for the better, not the worse.

To rearrange someone else's song is much harder than it is to write your own. It's actually hard to rearrange your own too! I actually think rearranging is SO hard – I can come up with a chorus and bridge and a verse, but an arrangement is hard. That's why I like co-writing.

I'd like to be remembered as a musician, as well as a singer. And as somebody who could connect with the audience and perform from the heart.

I'd just like to say I have had a really good last week and a bit… I got to meet Josh Groban, he really inspired me. The Ronald McDonald House was also an inspiration and I had an awesome night at the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice awards – I got Larry Emdur's signature on my t-shirt! How cool is he?! Just going down the orange carpet was so much fun.

Thanks to my fans for voting for me, because I wouldn't be able to do all these things without your help.

-Natalie

Final 8 Week

I got advice from Dicko a couple of weeks ago... He mentioned that I need to think about how I will be perceived as an artist after the show and that made my song choices easier because now I am going with what I want to do, rather than trying to second guess what the public wants. I try and choose something that I can relate to and that's well-known. This week, the song choice came about easily. The artist I am performing is really well known and I don't want to over-sing it, but I think it should be fun. I am looking forward to it. I am just kinda sad that my piano is gone! It's been a sad week – Mark's gone and no more piano!
 
I've grown in this comp in every single way. I am learning so much about myself. You think that you know yourself but then you put yourself in a situation where it's kinda uncomfortable and different and you realise you still have a lot to learn. In this competition, you are putting yourself out there and people are judging you for you. If you don't know who you are, then how is the public supposed to know? Even though the judges have said some hard comments, I feel like I have naturally grown from them. I think about what they say, realise they are right and take it on board. My Mum is really good like that – she will listen and take in what's happening but not tell me what to do. Then when I do it, she will ring and say, "Well done Nat."
 
I am just trying to the best of my ability. Everyone makes mistakes - no one is perfect. It's normal to get negative criticism but if you take the positive from that, then you will move on and grow.
 
At the moment, I am feeling quite relaxed about everything. This week, I got a sense of, "If I leave, I am happy with what I've done." But of course, I want more of an opportunity to continue on!
 
I think my confidence was really good at the start, but then I lost it a little bit and had to regain it and be secure with myself. I am not good at competitions – I tend to let things get to me and lose confidence and I feel really happy that I have learnt how to deal with that.
 
My best moment so far was probably Sunday. Getting my own catchphrase, a "Fully Sicko From Dicko" was really cool! That performance was my best so far and having that comment just topped it off.                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Mark leaving has been the worst moment for me… I got so emotional on Monday night, I couldn't stop crying! I even got sad coming into the studio on the bus today because Mark and I could just talk about everything and on the bus we would share earphones and listen to his playlists. He has a good attitude and I think it's sad that he didn't get another chance. We jammed his song out together the week before he did it - I was on piano and he was on guitar. It was so weird, when we went on the Hamish and Andy show they had a psychic who predicted Mark would win. I hope she didn't jinx him!
 
At the moment, I feel like I am in a little bubble – it's kinda scary but I think when Idol finishes, I will have more opportunities to do what I love. I know that I have respect for being a musician as well as being a singer, and getting respect for my songwriting means the world to me. To have that respect is all I have ever wanted and it makes me feel like I can go off and do whatever I want. The journey starts for me after Idol.
 
I would like to say hi to Jack Byrnes and my Mum and Dad and my band from Melbourne and Naomi! And kisses to Andrea.

-Natalie

Final 9 Week

Yesterday after the Federation Square performance, me, Ben, Mark and Carl went to my Mum's café in Melbourne. Fans turned up and it was just absolute madness. People were screaming our names. It was crazy enough but when Matt arrived, it was huge. The police turned up and controlled the crowd and let us inside. We had no idea that Australian Idol was so big in Melbourne. People were crying, the fans were going crazy! I think Mum was happy with the whole thing, because it meant a lot of people were coming into the café!
 
Last night, when we went to the "AFL Seriously" Channel 10 party, Mark Holden talked to all of us about Acoustic. He gave everyone some really good advice. I wasn't going to play my instrument this week because I didn't want to be under-prepared and he encouraged me to do it. It was awesome advice because he completely changed my mind.
 
People try and give you advice all the time… it can be tough. The worst advice I've had was given to me by myself! It was at the start of the competition and I was trying to advise the team on how to do my hair and makeup and looking back now, I am like, "What was I thinking?"
 
When it comes to before-show rituals, every week I try something different to see what works…and if it works better. I've had a few suggestions on stretching and warm-ups, but the thing that has worked best for me so far is not watching the show before I go on to perform, and keeping my energy levels up. Sitting down and watching the show, I get sucked into the energy of it. Instead, I pace up and down and get comfortable in my shoes and outfit. I think that's best.
 
My sister sent me a teddy bear so I have that on my bed at Idol HQ. My aunty, uncle and my cousins wrote me a really beautiful card before I left and it's really inspirational, so I keep that with me too.
 
Australian Idol has definitely changed me – not my fundamental elements… but they've become more defined and I'm more reassured in myself. I've learnt that it doesn't really matter about what people say – you can listen, but you don't have to take it all on board. If you're confident with what you do, go with it and learn along the way. And I've learned to not make the same mistake twice. I feel spiritually that I've grown and I know what's important to me – my family and my close friends. When you're so distant geographically from them, they're all that matter.
 
This week has been a really, really big week – work-wise and learning-wise. I'm still learning how to deal with keeping up my stamina and make the most of my downtime.

-Natalie

Final 10 Week

I have felt more out of my comfort zone than ever before! For the first few weeks of the semi-finals, it felt kind of normal in a sense that I had family around more and we had a lot of time to ourselves. I did freak out a bit about the performance part of things but I don't think that was because I was out of my comfort zone. It's Australian Idol and I think I was just overwhelmed by it all! Since being in the Final 12, things have gotten much more difficult in terms of finding my place and finding a sense of self. The first week we didn't even get time to think, because we were so busy. Now we have more time to prepare for our performance, as well as being placed into an environment where I now have to live with nine other people I don't really know. Don't get me wrong, everyone is very nice - but imagine living with nine other people in a house… no matter how much you think it won't affect you, trust me - it does! And don't get me started on theme nights – they're a discomfort in itself! I thought I'd be OK because I think I'm quite a versatile singer, but it's very difficult to sing a genre you don't normally sing and bring your originality to it. I'm hoping Disco will work in my favour because I love to boogie!
 
I have had about five sleepless nights being in at Idol HQ. The worst night was probably last week when I really wanted to get an early night and everyone was so excited about being in the house for another week. Usually I don't mind that so much, but in the house everything echoes and the sound is amplified about 10 times! So I had to kindly ask them to shut up. I felt bad, but I was stuffed and needed sleep!
 
The best fan moment I've had was when we were at the Mc Donald's charity ball and this lovely lady came up and gave me a big hug and started speaking to me in Maltese and was so proud of both her and I being Maltese. I can't speak Maltese, so I felt really embarrassed! She was really nice and was so proud - she has definitely made an impact on me.
 
My biggest learning curve has been learning how to look after myself and staying focussed on the job. I really don't want to let the hype and the whole “Australian Idol” thing to change or detract from who I am as an artist. I have also learned about positive and negative energy and how to handle high-pressure situations. I still haven't got it down pat but I'm definitely learning.
 
I rely on my friends and family to keep me sane and grounded. I look forward to Sunday and Monday nights because I know a few of family and friends will be there. Getting out of the house as much as possible is also healthy for the mind and spirit. And one more thing, Sam (our awesome house manager who cooks all our yummy meals and makes sure we're organised) also keeps me sane and healthy. It's nice to talk about other things, rather than Idol stuff all the time.

-Natalie

Final 11 Week

This week has been chilled in that the schedule was more relaxed, but I have still woken up early and gone to bed late. I have been busy working on my arrangement for my song and doing some vocal exercises – plus, we've had our vocal workshops. I am still catching up on sleep! Yesterday we had the Rock profile shoot and interviews and that was really fun. I enjoyed that a lot.

Everyone is in the house at the same time when we don't have much on. Youhave to find a place to go. I have been hanging out in the gym room because there's a balcony off it. I sit out there and check my emails and in the afternoon, the sun come down and shines on me. And if I want to use the treadmill, it's right there. The views are amazing!

I was so nervous on Monday - it was a gross nervousness. It was like someone pulled my stomach out of my body and dropped it to the floor. You feel like you put all this work in, make friends with everyone and even when it's not you on the stage, you can totally relate and you picture yourself up there.

When it comes to song choice, I feel like I have already learnt that lesson. I made my own mistakes early in the competition. I was just
relieved that I got another chance.

I'm looking forward to the McDonalds ball on Saturday and I am really looking forward to doing Rock. The last few weeks I have really been getting into it. Yesterday, when we did the profile shoot, we mock performed our song and I just learnt to be more free on stage. I am planning on doing something a bit out of my comfort zone this week!

I've been watching my performances back, working on how to improve them and taking on what the judges say. I think what Mark said this week, that I could give 20% more, was right. I didn't agree at the time, but that's how it came across on TV. When you're on the stage, it's so loud and crazy. But when it's on TV, it's more condensed. I need to remember that.

When it comes to media attention, I think when you sign up for something like this, you have to prepare yourself for the worse. I know in myself what is truthful and real and so do the people who know me. Hopefully, the public will get to know me too, so they will know what's real as well. The public gets off on gossip and hey, I do as well! But I just have a bit of a laugh with it. You should never take on board that what you see in the media is 100% real. It's just entertainment. I know in myself what's real.

I just want to say a big happy birthday to Mel and hi to the Morali's! Liz, Michael and Mum – you guys ROCK! Miss you heaps Andrea and hi Dad – thanks for a great weekend. Nonna and Nonno – can't wait to see you!

-Natalie

First week in the Final 12

My rehearsal the other day was the most exciting thing for me this week, because I have made my own arrangement of the song I am doing. I'm really happy with how it has turned out.

I reckon I've coped well with the comments about my outfits. I've been trying to think about it less because it seems like that's all everyone is focusing on. But if they're not talking about my performances being a problem, then I suppose that's a good thing.

Idol HQ is awesome. It's the perfect size for 12 people because you never feel like there are 12 people in the house. It's very warm and inviting, and cosy and homely. I love it! I love how there are lots of different sanctuaries – there's a beanbag room and a music studio… and I've been playing the grand piano a lot.

I'm sharing with Brianna and Holly – it's worked out well because we all get along and respect each other's personal space.

We haven't really set any house rules but I think in the next few days there will be a house meeting - I am predicting Saturday! I feel like one of the older ones in the house - and I know the younger ones like to stay up quite late.

I've found it really interesting to discover how I deal with high pressure situations. The biggest thing I've learnt is that there are two different types of nerves – a positive nerve and a negative nerve. The negative one is when you're unprepared and fear takes over. The positive one is when you're anxious and over-excited and your heart beats 10 thousand times a minute. If you don't have that one before a performance, you get worried. That's the case for me, anyway!

I'm not afraid anymore – I don't think there's anything to fear. The more you fear, the worse you get. I just don't want my voice to disappear. That's the only thing I worry about. 

I think my first song choice was something I can learn from and not do again. I wasn't fully in control of my vocals and with song choices, you have to be 100% in control and not doubting anything. The next week I did a song I knew I could sing and it worked out so much better.

Walking the red carpet this week at the Hairspray premiere was the most surreal thing – the cameras were flashing and people were shouting! And we did a press conference this week too - that was so full-on! There are no breaks when the cameras are flashing. You don't want to stop smiling, or pick your nose or do anything weird. Marty has a tendency to yawn a lot and when we're getting our photo taken we're like, "MARTY, don't yawn!"

So far, the coolest thing fan-wise has been being asked to be in photos… and getting a few marriage proposals! 

-Natalie